Wednesday, May 6, 2020

What Do I Do Now That My Child Is Diagnosed With Autism?

Just breathe, let yourself process it expectantly if you did not expect this diagnoses. But in my experience, Mama knows Mama may not know what exactly what it is, but she knows something is not right. You may or may not be ready to accept it, but deep down you have questioned. Whether or not this is the case, to hear diagnosis is still very hard. It does not matter how old or young your child is or even what part of the spectrum they might be on. That is your child. I have never known how to put this into words and I still don't. But I can tell you what helped me through.

* Pray

God will lead you through this. Just ask Him and you will see.
This seems so simple and just what people say, but when I learned this (the hard way) I relied on prayer. I learned to run to Him for answers. He did show me where to go, what to read, and who to talk to. Was it quick? No. I thought at the time God was sure moving slow, but looking back he was moving me at a pace and doing things I could handle at the time. As I grew He would show me more.

1 John 5:14-15 ESV 

And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.

* Find a Support System
Definition of support system. : a network of people who provide an individual with practical or emotional support. 
There are people out there that know what you’re  going through. Find them, talk to them, they understand. At times you will tell yourself, or you will have thoughts pop into your head.  I'm the only one.  Even my husband does not understand. This is thinking things that are not true. 

Philippians 4:8 

Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart]..

Twenty-five years ago I thought that I was the only one who was walking this path and it was lonely. Mainly because I did not want to share my thoughts. I put myself there and blamed the world for not helping. I learned different and I'm still learning.

* Educate Yourself

Don't rely on others. There is difference between good advice (take good advice) and relying on what they say. Research it for yourself.  You know what is best for your family. Let the Lord lead you to do what is best for your child.  As you read you know what is best for your family. You might be thinking no I don't.  Oh but deep down you do. Because God is showing you, you just need to listen..

* Make a Plan
Even if you need to change the plan as you go start out with one. Even if it has to be changed later is better than no plan. Map it out, write it down, and stay the course.

* Know There Is Hope!
Will this be a different road for you and your child than you had dreamed?  YES, it was for me. When I came to terms with it I was ready to get to work. I think you will feel the same.

*Never Give Up
Will you want to give up at times?  YES you will.... Will it be easier to give up?  YES it would... Will you get tired?  YES you will... Will their be people in your life to imply you should just stop fighting?  YES there will....
So how do I keep myself from giving up? You just don't make it an option...

* Find A Break
Don't feel weak, or like a terrible Mama for needing a break from your child. You just need your batteries recharged. My advice to you is recharge them before they run out, even before the red light comes on. If you wait too late that's a good recipe to fall apart. Oh yeah and you will have those days also no matter what you do. It will hit you hard every now and then. My life is different than my dreams or others around me (this will happen even if your batteries are charged and you have come to term with the diagnosis) Why?  You are human.  The good news  is that these emotions will be get farther and farther apart.

* See The Bright Side
There is a bright side that is so hard to put into words. As time goes by you will see if for yourself and it will be your own bright side. You will get comfortable and thankful for you and your child and the experience in his/her life. That might be hard to understand for some right now, but its coming.  When it does it’s also ok to enjoy it.

God bless you,
Bobbie Boroughs